


A Little Purell Goes A Long Way

by Gadzooks06, moviemind1219



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Get it?, HIS OTHER THIRDS, M/M, Multi, aka his other thirds, joly is cleaning r's apartment and it's too horrific to handle, musichetta is a bad ass and helps her boys when they're too squeamish, so he calls in reinforcements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:11:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2017530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gadzooks06/pseuds/Gadzooks06, https://archiveofourown.org/users/moviemind1219/pseuds/moviemind1219
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joly is tasked to clean Grantaire's messy apartment. Clearly messy is an understatement, and he calls in reinforcements.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Purell Goes A Long Way

Joly hesitantly stepped into R's apartment, thinking he was prepared to see the mess before him.  _He was not._

Dirty clothes littered the floor, not even near the laundry bin. Dirty paper plates spilled out of the garbage can and onto the carpeted floor. (Who carpets their kitchen?!) As he crossed the threshold, he was hit with a wall of stink. The air so thick it was as if time forgot this place. Joly's gift basket of Clorox wipes and Windex sat, untouched, on the counter-where he had left it the week before, trying to hint at the unsanitary nature of his living quarters. Though how anyone could live in this filth Joly could not understand. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a cockroach dash across the floor.

"Nope." Joly let out a little squeal and scurried back to the car where Bossuet was waiting for him.

"I can't do this. I thought I could do this, but Bossuet  _you should see it,_ " Joly said, hyperventilating. He pushed his face into Bossuet's shoulder and held back tears. "It's so dirty, I think I may develop mono." Bossuet held back a laugh and patted Joly's head.

"What if I went with you?" he asked, wanting his boyfriend to be happy. He felt Joly nod into his shoulder. "It's you, love, so honestly how bad is it really?" Laughing, Bossuet opens the door and takes Joly's hand leading him back up to the apartment.

***

 "Jesus Christ Joly you weren't kidding were you?" said Bossuet when he first walked into the apartment. He rubbed his hands through his hair, "I think we need backup, like a professional cleaning service or something, because this is bad. I didn't know R had this in him." Bossuet laughed nervously.

"But I told Grantaire I'd have his apartment cleaned by tonight, he's bringing Enjolras over," muttered Joly.

Bossuet scratched his chin, and Joly could see the moment when the figurative "lightbulb" went off. "What?" he asked his boyfriend.

"The reinforcements I just thought of will tackle this mess in less than 3 hours," Bossuet gives Joly a knowing wink and goes to call his other favorite person.

About 10 minutes later the two hear a knock at the door. Joly looks through the peephole to see Musichetta holding a giant bucket of cleaning supplies. He opens the door, but before he can greet her, she grins wickedly and says, "Alright my darlings, let's kick this apartment's ass."

The next hour can be summarized in a series of statements:

"Joly sweetie, if you're gonna vomit while trying to clean, maybe you should take care of the bathroom."

"MUSICHETTA WAS THAT A RAT OR A GIANT ASS COCKROACH?!?!"

"How does one even get pizza behind the TV? I mean seriously?"

"Please for the love of Patria let that be chocolate."

"That wasn't chocolate."

"Remind me never to offer to clean for anyone ever again, I've used my inhaler 12 times, and had several mini panic attacks."

"I can't believe we did it."

A  _Mamma Mia_ soundtrack later, the entire apartment was spotless. "How in the hell did we manage this?" whispered Joly.

"Because you boys called me, that's why," said Musichetta as she put her hands on her hips, looking at the room with pride.

Joly's phone buzzes. He looks down to find a text from the very messy artist, "Enj and I are at the Musain, come for a quick drink?"

Bossuet read the text over his boyfriend's shoulder and said, "I could use a very strong drink after doing what we just did. I'd like to forget the past two hours." He shudders remembering organizing Grantaire's underwear.

"It's a good thing Enjolras never saw this place in that state, because I think he would break up with Grantaire on the spot."

"Well then my boys, let's agree never to tell him how 'disorganized' his boyfriend can get." And Musichetta's boys nodded in agreement.

***

The trio walks through the door to find Grantaire practically in Enjolras' lap. Joly bites his knuckles trying to hold back the squeak that threatened to escape his lips. He then realized where his hands had been for the last several hours and he frantically pulled at the Purell on his keychain and thoroughly doused his hands, upper arms, and before he could go any father with it, Bossuet wrestled the bottle out of his grip and put it in his pocket. Musichetta clucked her tongue and some barhand she knew well helped pull over another table to where Grantaire and Enjolras were sitting.

"Glad to see that you could make it," R winked at Joly. The doctor clenched his fists and tried not to think about the entire bottle of bleach he used to clean his sink. They ordered another round of drinks, and everyone drank happily. The trio specifically enjoying their job well done.

Eventually, Enjolras and Grantaire's chaste kisses became increasingly more indecent and finally excused themselves to go back to R's apartment. Chetta waved goodnight to the two who were clearly more preoccupied with each other's faces. The trio laughed and continued to drink for a little while longer. While recounting the horrors they faced not hours before, Joly received a text.

" _Holy shit_ is this my apartment?" Joly read out loud. They smiled at one another and ordered just one more round of drinks.

Joly typed back, "A little Purell goes a long way my friend." _  
_

The next week, Joly was overjoyed to find in front of his apartment door a box full of Swiffer refills, a new first aid kit, and a  _King-size_ bottle of Purell. He hopped up and down with complete and utter glee. A note on the box simply said,

"You really are Mr. Clean. Thanks, R."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and suggestions are much appreciated. Thanks for reading!!


End file.
